Apr 24, 2023
Introduction: On today's episode, host Kole Whitty delves into the topic of Empathy vs. Enabling and shares valuable insights on how to be an effective coach.
Key points:
- When clients push out payments or fail to meet commitments, coaches often take the hit themselves, becoming the sacrificial lamb and compromising the ecosystem within their structures and environment.
- Coaches should talk potential clients out of working with them if they're not in a position to invest and don't have a strong desire to make big moves and take radical responsibility.
- Setting clear boundaries and communicating them to clients and loved ones is important to establish acceptable behaviors and consequences for failure to comply.
- The Condor approach workbook is an effective tool for coaches to encourage clients to take responsibility for their actions and identify root causes of their behaviors.
- Coaches should actively listen to clients, reflect back their concerns, and express any concerns they have about past behaviors.
- Defining the terms of engagement and asking the right questions during intake is crucial for coaches to be discerning and avoid taking on clients solely for financial gain or fawning people-pleasing.
- It's important to take radical self-responsibility to set boundaries and avoid enabling clients in their relentless search for a villain.
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Recognize the behavior: The first step is to acknowledge that enabling is taking place. This can be difficult, but it's important to be honest with yourself and your clients about the negative impact of their behavior.
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Set boundaries: It's important to set clear boundaries and communicate them to your clients. This can include letting them know what behaviors are not acceptable and what consequences they will face if they continue to engage in harmful behavior.
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Encourage responsibility: Encourage your clients to take responsibility for their actions and make positive changes in their lives. Help them identify the root causes of their behavior and provide support and guidance to help them overcome their challenges.
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Seek support: It's important to seek help and support when dealing with enabling behaviors. This can include consulting with other coaches or mental health professionals, attending support groups, or seeking guidance from a supervisor or mentor.
Conclusion: Being an effective coach requires discernment, honesty, and a commitment to radical self-responsibility. Coaches should set clear boundaries, communicate expectations, and actively listen to clients while encouraging them to take responsibility for their actions. The Condor approach workbook is a powerful tool for coaches to help clients identify the root causes of their behaviors and take steps toward healthier, happier lives. By avoiding enabling behaviors and establishing clear consequences for failure to comply with acceptable behaviors, coaches can create a healthy ecosystem within their coaching structures and environment.